The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Terrible idea I love it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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