we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
