I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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