i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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