No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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