do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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