I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize