Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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