I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
