So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
