I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I touched a dick in church today
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
