when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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