woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
