so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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