Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize