It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
