You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize