her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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