turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize