I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
