I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
