The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I wish there were birth control emojis
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize