walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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