even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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