There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
