Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
