so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
