I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
