Apparently you make a good broom.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
