We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
