Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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