Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
false alarm, still single
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
