Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize