im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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