But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
