so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
