I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
