Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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