Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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