My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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