He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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