I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize