I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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