just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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