Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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