I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
