I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
