i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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