He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
