You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
