i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize