white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
