I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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