It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
