Apparently you make a good broom.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
