I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
