I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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