You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
