im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
