What did we do last night that was yellow?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
