Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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