You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I will pee on everything he values.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
