I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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