Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
